Kjærlighetens økonomi

"Jeg er økonom og har i mange år som høyskoleforeleser og høyskolelektor undervist i økonomi. Jeg har undersøkt alle mulige økonomiske virkemidler - renteendringer, skatteendringer, alternative pengesystemer. Alt mellom himmel og jord. Jeg fant ingenting. Det finnes ingen økonomiske virkemidler som løser det vi ikke ønsker løst. Så lenge privilegerte mennesker og land i verden bare ønsker enda mer selv, får vi enda mer selv. For vi har makten i verden. Egoisme, materialisme og kapitalisme står i et gjensidig avhengighetsforhold til hverandre og holder oss fast i det gamle.

Først når vi åpner hjertene våre og lar andres behov bli like viktige som våre egne, blir en løsning av verdensproblemene økonomisk og politisk mulig. Jeg fant ingen lettvintløsninger. Men jeg fant en reell løsning. En løsning som omfatter indre bevissthetsutvikling og ytre sosial, økonomisk og politisk utvikling. En omveltning som dette er ikke noe nytt i menneskehetens historie. Gjennom rennesansen på 1700-tallet begynte menneskehetens prosjekt med å flytte styringssenteret i psyken fra magens dyriske drifter til egoets mentale kontroll. Denne bevissthetshevingen muliggjorde den ytre utviklingen som fulgte. Middelaldersamfunnet ble forlatt. Vitenskap erstattet teologi og prestevelde, parlamentarisme erstattet kongelig enevelde, rettssikkerhet erstattet vilkårlighet og hekseprosesser, osv. Mennesker, bedrifter og land som er i forkant av utviklingen, er allerede inne i neste skritt i evolusjonen; å flytte styringssenteret i psyken fra egoet og videre til hjertet. Gjennom en slik indre og ytre utviklingsprosess er kjærlighetens økonomi like realistisk som den i dag forekommer utopisk. Akkurat som dagens rettsstat, blandingsøkonomi og demokrati var en utopi for 250 år siden, men er realisert i dag."

Av Per Hjalmar Svae

Kjærlighetens bakgater

Hva gjør det med et menneske å bli bedratt? Vi reagerer ikke identisk, men familieterapeut og psykolog Frode Thuen mener det går an å peke på typiske reaksjoner hos den bedratte parten: -De fleste blir blir svært skuffet, sint og fortvilet. Ofte kan reaksjonene også sammenlignes med post-traumatiske lidelser etter naturkatastrofer, voldsepisoder eller store ulykker: Man kan bli plaget av minnebilder, mareritt og generell uro, sier Thuen.

I en bok han har skrevet om utroskap peker han på at den bedratte parten kan oppleve det som om de grunnleggende antagelsene mange bygger livet på raser sammen: Hvis vi ikke kan stole på vår nærmeste, hvem kan vi stole på da?

Av Per Kristian Johansen og Ragnhild Sleire Øyen

En akademisk jul

På Høyden har bedt et knippe forskere betrakte julen gjennom sine faglige briller. Og den akademiske julen er svært så mangfoldig. Den handler bl.a.om jomfrufødsler og juletorsk, om lovløs julegavevirksomhet og svinesvor i tennene.

"- Gleden, framtidshåpet og kjærligheten er ingen engangsinvestering, og ikke noe vi kan kjøpe oss til. Disse verdiene trenger næring, omsorg og pleie for å vokse og for å være levedyktige. For å gjennomføre dette er vi avhengig av at noen tar ansvar. Julen handler om å ta ansvar i fellesskapets gleder og gi vern om framtidshåp", sier psykologen. Hun (Gro Th. Lie ved Det psykologiske fakultet) mener at julen og julens budskap i dypeste forstand dreier seg om et budskap om solidaritet.

En selvfølelse av kjærlighet

"Studien viser at selvfølelsen er en nøkkelindikator for hvordan folk oppfatter partnerens anerkjennelse og følelsesmessige støtte.

Menn og kvinner med lav selvfølelse følte seg for eksempel mer elsket på dager da de hadde suksess på skolen eller på jobben, ifølge studien.

Som den rake motsetning til dette, oppfattet både menn og kvinner med høy selvfølelse at partnerens kjærlighet var betingelsesløs."

Av: Andreas R. Graven, Journalist
23.jul 2006

Les mer på forskning.no!

Kissing under the mistletoe

The Norse god Balder was the best loved of all the gods. His mother was Frigga, goddess of love and beauty. She loved her son so much that she wanted to make sure no harm would come to him. So she went through the world, securing promises from everything that sprang from the four elements--fire, water, air, and earth--that they would not harm her beloved Balder.

Leave it to Loki, a sly, evil spirit, to find the loophole. The loophole was mistletoe. He made an arrow from its wood. To make the prank even nastier, he took the arrow to Hoder, Balder's brother, who was blind. Guiding Holder's hand, Loki directed the arrow at Balder's heart, and he fell dead.

Frigga's tears became the mistletoe's white berries. In the version of the story with a happy ending, Balder is restored to life, and Frigga is so grateful that she reverses the reputation of the offending plant--making it a symbol of love and promising to bestow a kiss upon anyone who passes under it.

How Justified Sinners Love Each Other

"My aim is to gather up some wonderful fragments of relational Christian life from Romans 12 and call you to live them out in love to each other this year in small groups – as well as all the other ways that you relate to each other.

And when I say "each other" I am thinking not only of those who are already here, or in your circle of acquaintance or even the circle of Christianity. I am thinking also of those who will become part of the "each other" from outside your circle and from outside the faith. The term "each other" in a Christ-like, loving church in a large metropolitan center like the Twin Cities is never static. It is always changing and growing. It is a sign of serious spiritual sickness in this city and this church if your circle of friends is static."

By John Piper. © Desiring God

The Color of Love

For some folks the color of love is
Red ... fiery and hot,

For others the color is
Blue ... placid and calm,

For some it's
Yellow... caring but cautious,

For others it's
Orange ... rich and fruitful,

For some the color is
Lavender... gentle and kind,

For others it's
Purple... sacrificing and giving,

For some it's
Green ... with its go, go, go,

For others the color is
White ... pure and undefiled.

But for me the color is
Rainbow ... Red and Blue,
Yellow and Orange,
Lavender and Purple,
Green and White.

The Rainbow painted by God
is a symbol of forever-love,

And as long as there is
sunshine and rain
there will always be Rainbows,

And as long as there are Rainbows
there will always be
forever-love for you.

Dick Innes © Copyright

Color Of Love

I was lonely
I needed someone to see me through
I was at the end of my rope
I needed someone to cut me loose

And then an angel out of the blue
Gave me the sense that i might make it through
And somehow I survived with no rhyme or reason
And now I know I'll make it through the miracle of you

I know the color of love
And it lives inside of you
I know the color of truth
It's in the image of you
If it comes from the heart
Then you know that it's true
It will color your soul like a rainbow (Like a rainbow)
And the color of love is in you

Colors, the colors, the colors, the colors of
Colors, the colors, the colors, the colors of
Colors, the colors, the colors, the colors of
Love, love, love

Like a bridge
Over troubled, troubled water
You stood beside me, stood beside me
And your love did not falter

And then the angel, the angel in you
Gave me the strength to know that I will get through
And that's how I survived, ain't no other reason
And now I know I'll make it through the miracle of you

I know the color of love
And it lives inside of you
I know the color of truth
It's in the image of you
If it comes from the heart
Then you know that it's true
It will color your soul like a rainbow (Like a rainbow)
And the color of love is in you (Is in you)

Colors, the colors, the colors, the colors of
Colors, the colors, the colors, the colors of (It's the colors)
Colors, the colors, the colors, the colors of
(Oh...oh...oh...oh...oh...oh...)
Love, love, love

So girl, I wanna thank you
I can't thank you enough
For showing me the meaning
The meaning of true love

When i was lost and so in need
You opened up your heart
When I needed you to comfort me
You opened up your arms

I couldn't face another day
You said, "Don't be afraid"
You showed my heart the,
Showed me the way

I know the color of love (Hey, hey, hey, hey, ho ho, ho)
And it lives inside of you (It lives in you)
I know the color of truth (Oh...whoa...ho...)
It's in the image of you
If it comes from the heart (Comes from the heart)
Then you know that it's true
It will color your soul like a rainbow
And the color is in you

Colors, the colors, the colors, the colors of (Oh)
Colors, the colors, the colors, the colors of (It's the colors)
Colors, the colors, the colors, the colors of
Love, love, love

Oh...the color of you


Artist: Boyz II Men Lyrics

Love Is A Rainbow

And love is a rainbow curving down from the sky
Falling crystals of colour, shades of warm that never die
Red melodies burning still lead me to the night
And sing about the sights that they are sighing
Silver shadows returning, dazzle with desire
now freezing in a fire, they are flying

And love is a rainbow curving down from the sky
Falling crystals of colour, shades of warm that never die
Brown cascades are flowing, tinged upon your skin
Like strings of violins they are playing
Green breezes are blowing, cooling songs of tone
Now dancing in a moan as they are swaying

And love is a rainbow curving down from the sky
Falling crystals of colour, shades of warm that never die
Oh the yellow of the flowers, petals everywhere
Showing how to share the dreams of dawning
Blue fades in the hours, swallowed by the wine
To still the hands of time until the moring

And love is a rainbow curving down from the sky
Falling crystals of colour, shades of warm that never die

By Phil Ochs

Rainbow Love Poems

We shall find the cube of the rainbow,
Of that there is no doubt;
But the arc of a lover's conjecture
Eludes the finding out.

Emily Dickinson

Kids' Ideas About Love

"No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell. That's why perfume and deodorant are so popular."
Mae, age 9


"Don't say you love somebody and then change your mind. Love isn't like picking what movie you want to watch."
Natalie, age 9


"It's love if they order one of those desserts that are on fire. They like to order those because it's just like how their hearts are - on fire."
Christine, age 9

...jag blir rädd...

Du säger at du älskar fåglar,
men endå sätter du dem i bur.
Du säger att du älskar blommor,
men ändå plockar du dem.
Du säger att du älskar vinden,
men ändå stänger du fönstret.
Fattar du inte att jag blir rädd
när du säger att du älskar mig?

Fra 'Ord av kärlek'
en BonnierCarlsen bok

Love and Marriage

"When people get married because they think it's a long-time love affair, they'll be divorced very soon, because all love affairs end in disappointment. But marriage is a recognition of a spiritual identity."

Joseph Campbell

To Love, Get Down To The Basics

When God sent down His messengers, their brief was to caution us against evil and encourage those who obeyed the Creator's command. The messengers were there to spread His word and certainly not to force obedience. Then where is the scope for clash? Those who love their Creator can never hate His creation. Man on the one hand proclaims to be the servant of his Creator and worships Him. On the other hand he regards His creation unworthy of his affection solely because of difference in faith.

The Creator has never commanded us to hate someone because of his belief. He has taught us to be mindful of all life forms. So we have no right to denounce another's religion or faith. Many a time, fighting in the name of religion has very little to do with faith. It is economic interest, hunger for power and territorial gain that spurred people to violence. How-ever, the fact remains that religion continues to exercise strong emotional appeal and therefore it becomes an effective rallying point and tool to grab power.

All religions strive to bring order into society, not disruption. But man ignores the core teaching. Reformists have dedicated themselves to focus attention on righteousness throughout the ages but there are some who have continued to do damage to human relations.

True, over the years, we have sharpened our language skills enough to couch our real intention in sophisticated arguments and exotic terminologies. But deep down, our basic instincts remain... only to resurface at the slightest provocation. We have to grasp the essence of our individual faiths to be able to contribute to peaceful living on planet earth.

By M Yusuf Khan

Love, Mysticism and Myth

Love has innumerable dimensions and an awesome array of different effects in the world, so it is not surprising that one can find thousands of unique definitions of this universally celebrated human emotion. Each testament and definition is a single voice in a vast choir.

...

We need a new mythology in which homosexuals and bisexuals are fully accepted members of society. But the social reformation cannot stop here. The entire notion that male and female are the only natural sexes must be dropped in favor of a spectrum of sexual diversity. The notion that hermaphrodites are deformed human beings is absurd and dangerous. To fall outside of the norm is neither bad nor unnatural, and society has no right to surgically invade a person's body just because she or he does not fit into the normal boxes. All official forms and documents should have at least three boxes for gender: female, male, and other, because others do exist and they have a right to be acknowledged.

The bottom line is this: we need to reinvent our myths of erotic and romantic love. We need to do this not only so that we can stop oppressing sexual minorities, but so that we can reclaim the lost realms of our own spiritual lives.

Written by Gaylen Moore

Seven Ancient Love Stories

In ancient Greece lived a handsome and talented sculptor named Pygmalion. He loved his work and would spend hours carving beautiful ivory statues, always at his happiest when immersed in his art.

One day he chose a large, beautiful piece of ivory, and worked for many long hours at it, chiseling and hammering until he finished. It was a statue of a beautiful lady. Pygmalion at once fell in love with his creation - he thought it was so beautiful, and he clothed the figure, gave it jewels, and named it Galatea, which means "sleeping love". Treating Galatea as if she were his girlfriend, he brought his ivory statue shells and pebbles, little birds and flowers of all colors. He was obsessed!

... read the rest of this story, and six more at "Myth Man's Award-Winning Homework Help" by clicking the heading

Love, Myth & Metaphor

... Once you tell your partner that you love them, then you feel vulnerable. This happens because you have let your feelings loose, you have told your partner the way you feel. Many people think that these feelings are very personally and should only be announced when your partner feels the same way. The vulnerability occurs because you are susceptible to being hurt, and this can lead to depression. When you get your reply, you close this vulnerability of being hurt as you know whether your partner loves you or not. Another way to put it would be; once you say "I love you", a gap is opened within your body and is now open for infection. A nice reply to "I love you" will seal your wound, and you feel good about yourself.

From an article by Davinder Mahal

The Cupid Myth: The Eros and Psyche Story

"Psyche" is a Greek word for "butterfly" and also for "the soul". At times, the beautiful butterfly of Love looks more like the lowly caterpillar; and sometimes Love lives in a self-protective cocoon concealing the loveliness inside from the gaze of mortal eyes.

Love is, as Kahlil Gibran puts it, a "spiritual affinity" - a meeting of two souls on a level that mere senses cannot divine, nor mind can explain. Love is not seen nor heard, and often goes unrecognized. Love is not in looks - it is in hearts and souls!

We sometimes call it "chemistry" - that attraction and reaction which occurs when certain people meet. If it's a sexual attraction but lacks a spiritual affinity, then it is Lust (Eros). A spiritual affinity without sexual attraction is deep Friendship (Agape).

Ibn al-Arabis kærlighedsdigt

Ivan Aguéli, kunstner, religionsfilosof, orientalist og malergeni, født den 24 maj 1869 i Sala (Sverige), dør i 1917 i Barcelona.

Han regnes for at være forgrundstalerne i svensk kunsthistorie. Han er både i sin kunst og i sit liv en "mystiker" og en søger. Han gør sine første kunstneriske forsøg i Gotland. Ved 21 års alderen gør han sin første studierejse til Paris hvor han kommer til at lære den nye kunst at kende. Han ændre sit navn fra John Gustaf Agelii til Ivan Aguéli.

Aguéli eller Abdul-Hadi forstås måske bedst i lyset af Ibn al-Arabis kærlighedsdigt:

Mit hjerte har fået mange formers muligheder:
Det er en eng for gazeller og et kloster for kristne munke,
et tempel for billeder og pilgrimmens Kaba
og Lovens tavler og Koranens bog.
Jeg følger kærlighedens religion;
hvilken vej kærlighedens kameler end må tage,
dér er min religion og tro.

For alle der søger Gud er der måske en sandhed i følgende:
Vort bryst er en Kaba, og hjertet er den sten -
som støtter troens bygning bag bindevævets ben.
Men hjertet er dog delt, skønt samlet med et bånd -
så og blev kaba-stenen fæstnet af Profetens (Guds fred være med Dem) hånd
Det gamle hus blev renset, falske guder blev bragt ud -
og huset blev beboet af den Éne sande Gud.
Så rens også du din Kaba og gå på pilgrimsfærd -

Fear and love

Fear and love cannot live together ...
Blows are used to correct brute beasts.

- Seneca (Roman philosopher, author, politician, 4 B.C.E. to C.E. 65)

Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love

Scanning the brains of people in love is also helping to refine science's grasp of love's various forms. Helen Fisher, a researcher at Rutgers University, and the author of a new book on love*, suggests it comes in three flavours: lust, romantic love and long-term attachment. There is some overlap but, in essence, these are separate phenomena, with their own emotional and motivational systems, and accompanying chemicals. These systems have evolved to enable, respectively, mating, pair-bonding and parenting.

...

Because they are independent, these three systems can work simultaneously — with dangerous results. As Dr Fisher explains, “you can feel deep attachment for a long-term spouse, while you feel romantic love for someone else, while you feel the sex drive in situations unrelated to either partner.” This independence means it is possible to love more than one person at a time, a situation that leads to jealousy, adultery and divorce — though also to the possibilities of promiscuity and polygamy, with the likelihood of extra children, and thus a bigger stake in the genetic future, that those behaviours bring. As Dr Fisher observes, “We were not built to be happy but to reproduce.”


* “Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love”, by Helen Fisher. Henry Holt and Company, New York.

I get a kick out of you

Scientists are finding that, after all, love really is down to a chemical addiction between people.


In 2000, Andreas Bartels and Semir Zeki of University College, London, located the areas of the brain activated by romantic love. They took students who said they were madly in love, put them into a brain scanner, and looked at their patterns of brain activity.

The results were surprising. For a start, a relatively small area of the human brain is active in love, compared with that involved in, say, ordinary friendship. “It is fascinating to reflect”, the pair conclude, “that the face that launched a thousand ships should have done so through such a limited expanse of cortex.” The second surprise was that the brain areas active in love are different from the areas activated in other emotional states, such as fear and anger. Parts of the brain that are love-bitten include the one responsible for gut feelings, and the ones which generate the euphoria induced by drugs such as cocaine. So the brains of people deeply in love do not look like those of people experiencing strong emotions, but instead like those of people snorting coke. Love, in other words, uses the neural mechanisms that are activated during the process of addiction. “We are literally addicted to love,” Dr Young observes.

Schopenhauer

Schopenhauer, a philosopher not noted for his tender attitude to individual human beings, said that the subject had forced itself on him objectively and had become inseparable from his consideration of the world (pp. 169-170):

"Instead of wondering why a philosopher for once in a way writes on this subject which has been constantly the theme of poets, should we be surprised that love which plays such an important role in a man's life, has scarcely ever been considered at all by philosophers... I have decided to spend my life in thinking about it."

Evolutionary Aspects Of Love And Empathy, by Robin Allott

"Love has always been a central preoccupation in individual human lives, but there has been little consideration of it by psychologists or other scientists and little attempt to explain it as an evolutionary phenomenon. There are various possible behavioral precursors of love: animal "love", empathy, group feeling, sexuality, the mother/infant bond. The principal candidates are sexuality and the mother/infant bond. Sexuality has been favored as an origin by those few writers who have discussed the issue but has characteristics which distinguish it sharply from love and make it an unlikely precursor. However, the mother/infant bond alone does not fully account for the characteristics of human love. Love evolved as the outcome of interaction between the genetic basis for mother/infant attachment and other capabilities of the evolving human manifested in and made possible by the increase in human brain- size: enlarged cognitive capacity, improved communication abilities and the evolution of language. The capacity for language led to the emergence of the conscious self, and with this the capability to recognise and empathise the selfhood of others. The deepening of the mother/infant attachment into love played, and still plays, an essential role in the transmission of culture from one generation to the next and in making possible the cohesion of the human group. This account fits well with recent research into the process and significance of the mother/infant relation."

The Masks of Love

I come in from a walk
With you
And they ask me
If it is raining.

I didn’t notice
But I’ll have to give them
The right answer
Or they’ll think I’m crazy.

Alden Nowlan (1933 - 1983)

Kjærlighet som kvinnesak hos Camilla Collett

I store trekk kan vi si at menneskesynet på 1800-tallet, som i dag, var todelt: Mennesket bestod av kropp og intellekt. På 1800-tallet ble intellektet ansett som mannens domene, kroppen kvinnens. Kvinnen ble betraktet som natur, det sanselige tilhørte henne. Mannen representerte fornuft og rasjonalitet, derfor var det hans oppgave å oppdra kvinnen til rasjonell tenkning og hennes oppgave å lære ham om følelser. Men når rasjonaliteten tilhørte hans vesen, ble følelsene knyttet til kvinnens vesen. Og det betyr at kjærlighetsevnen ble knyttet til det kvinnelige, og det ble kvinnenes oppgave å oppdra mannen til kjærlighet, akkurat som det var hans å oppdra henne til rasjonell tenkning.

Av Kristin Ørjasæter, forsker (litteraturvitenskap)

Tro Håp Kjærlighet - Faith Hope Love

Love's Secret, William Blake

Never seek to tell thy love,
Love that never told can be;
For the gentle wind does move
Silently, invisibly.

I told my love, I told my love,
I told her all my heart;
Trembling, cold, in ghastly fears,
Ah! she did depart!

Soon as she was gone from me,
A traveler came by,
Silently, invisibly
He took her with a sigh.

En reisende i kjærlighet

Jacob Holdt: Å innse min egen rasisme, er noe av det vakreste jeg har opplevd. Den opplevelsen har gjort meg i stand til å leve meg inn i de hvite amerikanernes rasisme. Og bare med evnen til innlevelse kan man gi den kjærlighet som skaper forandring. Rasismen låser det amerikanske - og etterhvert også det europeiske - samfunnet fast i et mønster av frykt og hat. Vil vi bryte ut av dette mønsteret må vi alle bli bevisste antirasistiske rasister!

Tekst av Ina Tin og fotografier av Jacob Holdt (Amerikanske Bilder)
AmnestyNytt nr. 4 / Desember 1995

Rammet av kjærlighet

Marit Haldar stiller spørsmålet "Ville mennesker forelsket seg om de ikke hadde hørt om kjærlighet?" i denne avhandlingen. Hun har intervjuet tolvåringer om hva de har hørt om kjærlighet. De setter ord på og knytter ting og handlinger til kjærlighetens romatikk og familieliv. Slik kan de sette oss på sporet av hvordan kjærligheten er konstruert.

Marit Haldar hadde følgende problemstilling for avhandlingen: Hvilke skikkelser (kjønnende subjektsposisjoner) og plott forestiller tolvåringer at den heteroseksuelle kjærligheten kan tilby?

Hensikten har vært å få fram kjærlighetens mangfold og rikdom, og tolvåringenes kunnskap om den. Men Haldar skriver også at mangfoldet i forståelsene ikke er befridd fra kulturens føringer - det uttrykker fri utfoldelse innenfor det meningsuniverset som kulturen tilbyr. Det er noen grunnforløp som går igjen, og noen hovedelementer som overholdes i mangfoldets konkrete versjoner.

...

– Jeg har ønsket å se på hva den sosiale konstruksjonen av kjærlighet kan sies å være, sier Haldar, og fortsetter: – Ideen om kjærlighet blir trukket vekk fra det hverdagslige, men det er jo i hverdagen at vi gjør kjærligheten. Så hvordan gjøres den, sånn rent alminnelig? Sosiologen har verken hatt det kvinneundertrykkende eller det poetiske som utgangspunkt, men har forsøkt å finne hvilke subjektposisjoner (den aktivt handlende i fortellingen om kjærlighet) som tilbys som script i kjærligheten.

Heidi Elisabeth Sandnes, Kilden, Norges forskningsråd

Det DEMOkratiske Kjærlighetspartiet

"Kjærlighet er religion, livsfilosofi og politikk på sitt beste"

Mother love

"There is one taboo that has withstood all the recent efforts at demystification: the idealization of mother love."

Alice Miller

Narcissus

Painting of Narcissus by Caravaggio

According to the legend of Narcissus, this Greek boy fell in love with his own reflection in a pond. In a way, this amply sums up the nature of his namesakes: narcissists. The mythological Narcissus rejected the advances of the nymph Echo and was punished by Nemesis. Consigned to pine away as he fell in love with his own reflection – exactly as Echo had pined away for him. How apt. Narcissists are punished by echoes and reflections of their problematic personalities up to this very day.


Narcissists are said to be in love with themselves.

But this is a fallacy. Narcissus is not in love with himself. He is in love with his reflection.

There is a major difference between one's True Self and reflected-self.

Loving your True Self is healthy, adaptive, and functional.

Loving a reflection has two major drawbacks:

1. One depends on the existence and availability of the reflection to produce the emotion of self-love.

2. The absence of a "compass", an "objective and realistic yardstick", by which to judge the authenticity of the reflection. In other words, it is impossible to tell whether the reflection is true to reality – and, if so, to what extent.

The popular misconception is that narcissists love themselves. In reality, they direct their love to other people's impressions of them. He who loves only impressions is incapable of loving people, himself included.

But the narcissist does possess the in-bred desire to love and to be loved. If he cannot love himself – he must love his reflection. But to love his reflection – it must be loveable. Thus, driven by the insatiable urge to love (which we all possess), the narcissist is preoccupied with projecting a loveable image, albeit compatible with his self-image (the way he "sees" himself).

The narcissist maintains this projected image and invests resources and energy in it, sometimes depleting him to the point of rendering him vulnerable to external threats.

But the most important characteristic of the narcissist's projected image is its lovability.


From: MALIGNANT SELF LOVE NARCISSISM REVISITED
The World of the Narcissist (Essay), Narcissism, Pathological Narcissism, The Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), the Narcissist,and Relationships with Abusive Narcissists and Psychopaths (Fifth, Revised Impression, 2003) By: Dr. Sam Vaknin

Narcissistic Personality Disorder - Self Love and Self Destruction

Question:

If narcissists love themselves and are so self-centered, why do they have all these self-destructive and self-defeating behaviors? Isn't it a contradiction?

Answer:

There are two important differences between healthy self-love and malignant narcissism:

(a) in the ability to tell reality from fantasy, and (b) in the ability to empathise and, indeed, to fully and maturely love others. As we said, the narcissist possesses no self-love. It is because he has very little True Self to love. Instead, a monstrous, malignant construct – the False Self – encroaches upon his True Self and devours it.


... Moreover, our experience of what it is like to be human – our very humanness – depends largely on our self-knowledge and on our experience of our selves. In other words: only through being himself and through experiencing his self – can a human being fully appreciate the humanness of others.

By: Dr. Sam Vaknin

Self-Love : Is It Selfish?

Learning to love yourself may be the greatest love you ever experience and achieve. Self-love is not "selfish" or bad. When you love yourself, you will feel good about yourself, and you will feel better about the world. This will make it easier for you to give love to others. Especially if you are a parent or any type of caregiver, you must not forget to take time out to care for yourself. When you take time to re-energize, you will have more energy both for yourself and to share with the people you love and those in your care. The person who feels self-love is generally happier and much more pleasant to be around than the person who lacks self-love and self-esteem. Embodying self-love is the greatest example we can set for our children, for our loved ones, for our friends, and for all those we encounter in our lives.

Unconditional self-acceptance and self-love?

To accept and love yourself unconditionally is to:

- Place no condition on yourself as to how to behave or what to be in order to receive self acceptance and self love.

- Not use "if - then" clauses in establishing conditions for accepting and loving yourself.

- Take a risk to be open and vulnerable to who you are with no preset limits or expectations.

- Accept and love yourself for the fact that you exist rather than for what you do.

- Give yourself the respect and latitude to be yourself rather than to be what others want or expect you to be.

- Set the stage for yourself to feel warmth, caring, and concern for yourself which results in your growing in self-esteem and self worth.

By James J. Messina, Ph.D. & Constance M. Messina, Ph.D.

Tvivel är en signal om fara

– Ljumma relationer där man bara ”älskar” vissa sidor av den andres person, blir med tiden problematiska. I en nära relation kan man inte välja bort detta någonting. Man måste ta emot en hel människa, säger psykoanalytikern Tomas Böhm till Svenska Dagbladet 24 februari 2005. Han har skrivit flera böcker om förälskelse och kärlek.

"Fråga inte varför hälften av alla äktenskap slutar med skilsmässa. Förundras i stället över hur två människor kan finna varandra, leva tillsammans, och utvecklas sida vid sida, trots alla fallgropar och blindskär."

... Det finns ett korn av sanning i talesättet ”du måste älska dig själv innan du kan älska någon annan”, menar Tomas Böhm. En bra självkänsla – och ett mått av personlig utveckling – krävs för att kunna ge och ta emot kärlek.

– Djup och varaktig kärlek kräver en egen inre förändring.
Om man är alltför osäker och oflexibel i sin personlighet, kommer man inte att klara av en nära kärleksrelation. I stället för att enbart driva sin egen linje, måste förmågan att nyfiket intressera sig för den andre finnas. Först då kan de älskande mötas och utvecklas tillsammans.

Shakespeare on Love – kärlekens ansikten i Shakespeares sonetter

Kärlek är ett mångformigt, komplicerat och laddat begrepp och det var inte enklare i England för 400 år sedan – snarare tvärt om. Mycket är sig naturligtvis likt; de första tafatta kontaktförsöken, den rusiga förälskelsen, den trygga fördjupade gemenskapen, den halvljumma slentrianen, svartsjukan, hatet och bitterheten hos den som blir sviken och skuldkänslorna hos den som svikit. Men de ramar samhället satte upp kring kärleken var så radikalt annorlunda på Shakespeares tid att skillnaderna antagligen även har påverkat själva känslorna i viss utsträckning. ...

... Paradoxalt nog bidrog dessa snäva yttre ramar till att göra ordet kärleks innebörd vidare. Idag är det bara i nära relationer mellan generationerna som det används utan sexuell bibetydelse, gäller det två vuxna människor är en sexuell relation underförstådd. Så var det inte på Shakespeares tid. Det faktum att man förväntades hålla ihop hela livet med någon man kanske aldrig älskat i dagens mening bidrog till att delvis frikoppla begreppen kärlek och sexualitet från varandra.

text: Anna Lejfelt-Sahlén

Lust, Love, and the Literary Vampire

"For an instant it seemed as if she saw herself through his eyes. . . . 'Our souls have touched,' he said" (Petrey, 29). Vampiric love permits a union unknown to ordinary people.

By Margaret L. Carter

Are You In Love Or Lust?

Love and lust are inextricably intertwined. Lust is ground zero for hormones -- it's nature's way of bringing the opposite sexes together to mate. In fact, without lust, it's doubtful that love between a man and a woman would have a chance to prosper at all.

The driving force of the sexual imperative bridges the gap between the almost incompatible brain styles of the two sexes. So lust can be seen as one end of a broad continuum, which may or may not culminate in romantic love.

And love is the most ennobling of human emotions -- transcendental, exalted and capable of engendering emotional states, which can make the male of the species "want to be a better man."

Men fight wars over lust, but they make homes and families for love.

By Matthew Fitzgerald

Love is...

"Love Is...": "Kim Casali created 'Love Is...' back in the late 1960's when she drew the little pictures as love notes for her husband-to-be, Roberto," reveals Tribune Media Services, which hosts the long-running cartoon feature at ComicsPage.com. "Her illustrations were then revealed to the rest of the world when they were first syndicated in 1970.

"Since his mother's death in June 1997, Sefano Casali has maintained his mother's legacy of the beloved comic panel ... with artist Bill Asprey, who continues to draw the charming little cartoons."

Today's "Love Is...," as seen in newspapers worldwide, with months of previous selections are accessible in an online archive, an effort stretching Valentine's Day romance throughout the year. Individual cartoons become email greeting cards and may be forwarded free to a special friend.

From Mike Durrett, your guide to http://humor.about.com

Union with Brahma

He lets his mind pervade one quarter of the world with thoughts of love, and so the second, and so the third, and so the fourth. And thus the whole wide world, above, below, around, and everywhere, does he continue to pervade with the heart of love, far-reaching, exalted, beyond measure. Just as a mighty trumpeter makes himself heard--and that without difficulty--in all the four directions; even so of all things that have the shape of life there is not one that he passes by or leaves aside, but regards them all with mind set free, and deep-felt love. Verily this is the way to a state of union with Brahma.

Buddhism. Digha Nikaya xiii.76-77, Tevigga Sutta

Yoruba Proverb

"God drives away flies for a cow which has no tail."

African Traditional Religions,
Yoruba Proverb (Nigeria)

Sikhism

What kind of love is this that to another can shift? Says Nanak, True lovers are those who are forever absorbed in the Beloved. Whoever discriminates between treatment held good or bad, Is not a true lover - he rather is caught in calculations.

Adi Granth, Asa-ki-Var, M.2, p. 474

Love Your Enemy

The prescription to love your enemy and to requite evil with good is sometimes thought of as an impractical and perfectionist ethic, able to be practiced only by a few exceptional souls. But, in fact, this doctrine is widely taught in all religions as a fundamental principle for pursuing relationships with others. The person who insists upon vengeance or retribution is not necessarily committing a crime, but neither will his act of revenge be helpful to spiritual advancement. Revenge, which requites evil with evil, only multiplies evil in the world, while love, by in which one strives to overcome evil with good, spreads goodness in the world.

True love is unconditional and impartial--thus the metaphor of the sun that shines down on all life. It is tested and proven by encounters with those who are difficult to love. Where true love prevails, there no enemies are found.

The concluding passages dispute the prescription to love your enemy when it apparently contravenes the principles of justice and right. Sometimes the best way to love an evil person is to make him face justice, or to hinder him from doing wrong. Nevertheless, these corrective actions should be done with a loving heart and with the other person's welfare uppermost in mind.

From "WORLD SCRIPTURE - A Comparative Anthology of Sacred Texts" by Dr. Andrew Wilson, Editor

Teater Taimine: Kärlek! Kärlek!

Barneteater på Trikkehallen på Kjelsås. En komedie om 11-årige Kevin som har en mamma som er finlandssvensk og pappa som er finsk. Kärlek! Kärlek! viser hvor komplisert og overraskende kjærlighet kan være.

At foreldre som krangler, men også kysser mye, kanskje er lykkeligere enn stokkonservative mormor og miserable morfar som er blitt forsteinet av plikt og fasade. Kärlek! Kärlek! handler om for første gang å reflektere over fenomenet kjærlighet.

Passer for barn i barneskolealderen. I samarbeid med Norden i Fokus.

Sted: Trikkehallen på Kjelsås, Midtoddveien 12 (Kjelsåstrikkens endeholdeplass) Tid: 14.09. kl.18

Medieval Images of “Sacred Love”: Jewish and Christian Perceptions

Christian artists present a dynamic image, featuring the passionate relations of the "lover" and his "beloved." Jewish illuminators present a more static and ceremonial picture, in which respect and courtesy take the place of passion and ardency. These differences in approach can be attributed mainly to the different interpretations of the poem as reflected in the respective commentaries, and to the fact that in Jewish art there is a ban on the depiction of God in human form. The present paper examines the nature of Jewish iconography by comparing it to Christian representations of the same subject - the Song of Songs. In Christian art the images appear mainly as an illumination of the initial "O" illustrating the poem or a commentary of the poem. In Jewish art they appear in the mahzor, and illuminate a piyyut, a prayer which draws its inspiration and several verses from the Song of Songs.

From a very early date, the ardent love expressed in the Song of Songs has been interpreted allegorically by both Jewish and Christian exegetes. In both traditions the intimacy between the lover and his beloved is seen as representing the relations between God and man. For the Christian exegetes, it is the mutual love between Christ the bridegroom and His bride, the Church, or the union of the Divine Word and the individual soul. In Jewish expositions, this intimacy is understood in terms of God's bond, or the Schekinah, with the people of Israel and His commitment to them. In a general sense, although these two interpretations of the Scriptures appear to be similar, they differ both in context and in spirit.

by Ruth Bartal

Sacred and Profane Love

Sacred and Profane Love, Titian's masterpiece painted when he was about twenty-five to celebrate the marriage of the Venetian Nicolò Aurelio (coat of arms on the sarcophagus) and Laura Bagarotto in 1514. The bride dressed in white sitting beside Cupid is assisted by Venus in person. The figure with the vase of jewels symbolizes "fleeting happiness on earth" and the one bearing the burning flame of God's love symbolizes "eternal happiness in heaven".

Venus Coelestis & Venus Vulgaris

There are actually two Venuses, discussed in Plato's Symposium, Celestial Venus and Earthly Venus. The two Venuses correspond to the notion of Sacred and Profane love, a big topic in the Renaissance.

Love is My Religion, Ziggy Marley

"This album is from my heart," says Ziggy Marley of his second solo album, Love is My Religion (Tuff Gong Worldwide). Embracing both the spiritual and emotional side of life, Ziggy has definitively come into his own as an artist.
...
On the title track, "Love is My Religion," his message is one that "people need to hear," a unifying devotion to love that "needs to be preached in churches and mosque and synagogues."

Karl Marx

Låt oss anta att människan är människa och att hon har en mänsklig relation till världen. Då kan endast kärlek få kärlek i utbyte, tillit få tillit osv. Om man vill njuta av konst, måste man vara konstnärligt bildad. Om man vill ha inflytande över andra människor, måste man vara en person som verkligen har en stimulerande och uppmuntrande effekt på andra. Alla relationer till människor och till naturen måste vara specifika uttryck för ens faktiska individuella liv och anpassas efter det objekt man riktar sig till. Om man älskar utan att framkalla kärlek i utbyte, dvs om man inte genom att bevisa sig vara en älskande människa förmår göra sig till en älskad människa, då är ens kärlek maktlös och ett olycksöde.

Från Karl Marx' Ökonomisch philosophische Manuskripte

Kärleken som socialpsykologisk faktor

I stället för kärlekens blinda, allt uppslukande och krävande lidelse, i stället för äganderättskänslan och det egoistiska begäret att binda den älskade till sig "for alltid", i stället för maskulin inbilskhet och kvinnans skrämmande självutplåning kommer vi att få se kärleken utveckla andra, ovärderliga, drag. Vi kommer att få se respekten för den andra personen stärkas liksom strävan efter att ta hänsyn till den andres rättigheter. En inbördes själslig förmåga till inlevelse kommer att mogna, och en vilja att uttrycka kärleken inte bara genom kyssar och ömhetsbetygelser utan även i gemensam handling, enhetlig vilja, gemensamt arbete.

Den proletära ideologins uppgift är inte att jaga bort Eros från de samhälleliga sammanhangen, utan att fylla hans koger med pilar av ett nytt märke; att fostra kärlekskänslan mellan könen till att harmoniera med den nya stora psykiska kraften: kamratkärleken.

Jag hoppas att det nu står klart för dig, unga väninna, att det ökade intresse som arbetarungdomen visar för kärieksfrågor inte är ett tecken på "dekadens". Nu kommer du själv att kunna avgöra vilken plats kärleken ska inta, inte bara i proletariatets ideologi utan också i de levande förbindelserna mellan de unga arbetarna.


Ur: Bered plats åt "Den bevingade Eros", Brev till en ung arbetarkvinna
Av: Alexandra Kollontay, 1923

Ydmyk kjærlighet

Enkelte menneskers tankegang kan gjøre en målløs, særlig når en ser deres synder. En spør seg om det er riktigst å møte dem med makt eller med ydmyk kjærlighet. Velg alltid den ydmyke kjærligheten! Hvis du bestemmer deg for det en gang for alle, kan du overvinne hele verden. Kjærlighetens ydmykhet er vidunderlig sterk, den er sterkest av alt, og ulik alt annet.

Fjodor Dostojevski

Looking in the same direction

Love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction.

Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

Kärleks- och friarebref

Till detta slags bref, liksom i allmänhet till sådana, som äro känslans foster, kan och bör ingen allmän anwisning gifwas, emedan det blott är hjertats språk, som talar i dem. Följa wi dess drift, och är dess röst ren och sann, så skall wårt bref innehålla allt, som wi önska uttrycka. Deraf följer, att ett sådant bör wara wida skildt från all tillgjordhet, all öfwerdrien ömhet. Öfwerdrift i uttrycken är ingenting mindre än tjenlig att tillkännagifwa och wara en borgen för en ren, hjertlig och waraktig böjelse – Under hwarje liflig sinnesstämning äro uttrycken korta och kraftfulla, så äfwen här. Jakande swar, eller fastmer sådana, som blott gifwa hopp, böra affattas i den grannlaga ton, som man wäntar af ett bildat fruntimmer. Nekande swar eller afslag fordra i alla omständigheter den största skonsamhet. Åtminstone bör hwarje flicka, hwarje familj anse för en ära att en hederlig man närmar sig henne med ett sådant anbud.

Defining love

People have been interested in love since Plato or earlier, but there has long been resistance to defining love. Some feel they know instinctively what love is - so why bother to define it? Other dare not try to try and unlock loves secrets for fear it’s magical mystery would be lost forever.

In recent years social scientists have been taking a closer look at love and research has produced some interesting findings. One theory "The Triangle Theory" suggests that love can be divided into three components: intimacy, passion and commitment and these components can be further broken down into three stages: general, individual, and personal.

By Jimmy and Kerri Hunt

Relationship glue

We use love to describe a diverse range of feelings and pleasures; "I love my car," "We made love," "I love you." Greek and Latin terminology divides love into several different words that describe each type of love:

* Eros: Sexual Love
* Ludis: Flirtatious Love
* Philo: Brotherly Love
* Storge: Friendship Love
* Pragma: Logical Love
* Mania: Smothering Love
* Agape: Divine Love

Although several types of love play an important role in marriage, it's Agape love that acts as "relationship glue". Agape love is often described as, "Self-sacrificing love. Altruistic love that is experienced by people willing to do things for another person with no expectations." [1]

In marriage, Agape love is a commitment to love your spouse, even when you don't feel like it.

Agape Love helps keep marriages together by:

* Not giving up on each other during difficult moments
* Maintaining fidelity when you're attracted to another person
* Compromising, and not always getting your way
* Showing respect; not belittling, berating or ignoring your spouse
* Being attentive to your spouse's needs and feelings

One key to establishing and maintaining Agape love in your relationship is mutual giving. If both partners choose to offer self-sacrificing love, both will receive it.

By: Jon Henshaw, M.A.

Definition of love in Buddhism

The definition of love in Buddhism is: wanting others to be happy.
This love is unconditional and it requires a lot of courage and acceptance (including self-acceptance).

The "near enemy" of love, or a quality which appears similar, but is more an opposite is: conditional love (selfish love).
The opposite is wanting others to be unhappy: anger, hatred.
A result which one needs to avoid is: attachment.

This definition means that 'love' in Buddhism refers to something quite different from the ordinary term of love which is usually about attachment, more or less successful relationships and sex; all of which are rarely without self-interest. Instead, in Buddhism it refers to de-tachment and the unselfish interest in others' welfare.

Unchained heart

En gnist av sann kjærlighet

Hvilens bønn er en liten gnist av sann kjærlighet til Herren. Han selv tenner den og han vil at sjelen skal skjønne hvor den kommer fra ved at den bringer glede. Om gnisten fra Gud er aldri så liten, fremkaller den kraftig knitring. Dersom ikke menneskene kveler den ved sine egne feil, er den begynnelsen til en stor ild som sender opp høye flammer. Hans Majestet vil at kjærligheten skal brenne som et flammende bål i de sjeler som har nådd fullkommenhet.

Sjelen skal ikke foreta seg noe, den skal være stille og ikke lage oppstyr. Med oppstyr mener jeg å fly rundt med forstanden og lete etter ord og tanker for å takke Gud for hans nådegaver, eller stable opp sine synder og feil for å vise at man ikke fortjener dem.

La sjelen ganske enkelt uttale de kjærlighetsord som trenger seg på. Da kan den være sikker på at det den sier er sant.

St. Theresa av Avila, "Levende vann"

Synd, Erich Fromm

Vad är det för synd de (Adam och Eva) har begått? Att stå inför varandra som åtskilda, isolerade, själviska människor som inte kan nå fram till varandra och förenas i kärlek. Denna synd har sin rot i själva vår tillvaro som människor. Eftersom vi har berövats den ursprungliga harmoni med naturen, som er typisk för djur, vars liv styrs av medfödda instinkter, eftersom vi begåvats med förnuft och självmedvetande, kan vi inte undgå att känna oss totalt skilda från alla andra människor. Inom den katolska teologin är detta tillstånd av fullständig avskildhet och främlingskap inför andra människor, som inte kan överbryggas av kärlek, en definition på helvetet. Det är outhärdligt för oss. Vi måste på något sätt göra slut på den fullständiga avskilthetens tortyr: genom underkastelse eller förtryck eller genom att försöka tysta ner förnuft och medvetande. Men alla dessa metoder lyckas bara för ögonblicket och blockerar vägen till en riktig lösning. Det finns bara ett sätt att rädda oss från detta helvete: att lämna egocentricitetens fängelse, att sträcka oss ut och göra oss till ett med världen. Om egocentrisk avskildhet är kardlinalsynden, då är synden sonad med en käleksgärning. Eftersom avskildhetens synd inte är en akt av olydnad, behöver den inte förlåtas. Men den behöver botas, och kärleken, inte accepterandet av straff, är den helande faktor.

...

För att sammanfatta är alltså synd detsamma som olydnad inom ägandets livsform och den auktoritära strukturen, och den kan övervinnas genom ånger -> straff -> förnyad underkastelse. Inom varandets livsform, den icke-auktoritära strukturen, är synd detsamma som ett oupplöst främlingskap, och det övervinns genom full utveckling av förnuft och kärlek, genom gottgörelse.

Från "Att ha eller att vara", sida 123, av Erich Fromm

Love Lyrics, John Lennon

Love is real, real is love,
Love is feeling, feeling love,
Love is wanting to be loved.
Love is touch, touch is love,
Love is reaching, reaching love,
Love is asking to be loved.
Love is you,
You and me,
Love is knowing,
We can be.
Love is free, free is love,
Love is living, living love,
Love is needing to be loved.

En givende egenskap, Rudolf Steiner

"Med sin godhet var det ingen grenser for hva han krevde av seg selv. “Medlidenhet har sine grenser,” sa Marie Steiner til ham, men han svarte: “Nei, medlidenhet har ingen grenser.” Om kjærlighet sa han: “Det er en givende egenskap. Jo mer man gir, desto mer har man å gi.” Hver eneste sanne kjærlighet har, ifølge hans ord, evnen til grenseløs utvidelse. Han utvidet seg."

Fra Andrei Belyis (Boris Bugayev) portrett av Rudolf Steiner

Conditional Love

"Unfortunately, performance requirements exist in many human relationships, and the factor is called "conditional love." As long as one person can generate those warm, fuzzy feelings in another, love prevails, but when events interfere with or eliminate the fuzzy feelings, love disappears. And that is the point; for many, love is just a feeling, sometimes maintained over a period of time, sometimes quite temporary. In other words, it is the feeling that is loved, not the person. If the relationship interferes with one's pursuits or satisfactions in other areas (the "I want to be me" syndrome) it can be scrapped and disposed of."

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude; it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.....It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
(I Corinthians 13: 3, 5, and 7)

From Lessons in Lifemanship by Bryan Bell

Love in Islam

"The concept of love has intrigued mankind since our very creation. Stories of love have been found in all societies, past and present. It’s found in poetry and literature (Shakespeare, H. D. Lawrence), in pop culture (songs, movies, operas).

The love for our parents is one of the first emotions we feel. Throughout our lives we love countless things. But if you ask a group of people what love is, they’ll all have a different answer. History is full of Literature and anecdotes explaining and describing love. In truth, the definitions of love are exhaustive. Everyone has a different explanation of love, because there really is no one definition for it.

There are many different types of love. The love for one’s Mother and Father is different from the love for a spouse. The love for people and animate objects is different from our love for Allah and Islam. And these different forms of love are also accompanied by different ways of expression.

As a Muslim, our feelings of love should be governed by the duties and beliefs of Islam. The perfection of love is our love for Allah."

Freedom to Love

...
"The concept of love is clearly expressed in the Quran. God has specifically and precisely used the word "love" along with twenty three of its different Arabic derivatives to teach us that love is a normal, logical and realistic feeling which coincides with our gift of freedom. With God's freedom of choice, we are free to prefer or be inclined towards certain things, people, morals, certain talents, etc. Favoring, preferring and making certain choices demonstrates our love."
...
"If God's love was unconditional, it would defeat the whole purpose of our existence on earth and would contradict His gift of freedom granted to us. His love would serve as a green light to commit all kinds of evil. There would be no straight or crooked path, no point behind any clear commands, because God's love would be awaiting at the end of the road to save us all. This is a myth about God that is based on conjecture and ignorance.

It is our duty as believers and submitters to seriously study the boundaries set for us in the Quran in order to pursue love in a safe and constructive manner - the manner that would please God alone within His guidelines and make us earn His love and compassion."

Love (Hubb) in Islam

...
"This is the love in Islam. No words can define it. It's something so enigmatic, that only Allah could design it and He alone comprehends it. Wonder of wonders, it is beyond man's conception. Only in Allah can love find true perfection, for love is enduring, patient and kind. It judges all things with the heart, not the mind. Love can transform the most commonplace into beauty and splendor and sweetness and grace. Love is unselfish, giving more than it takes, being unconditional and unhampered by environment. Love never forsakes, it's faithful and trusting, truthful. It is guileless and honest and never deceiving. Love is Allah's Divine Gift."
...
"On the other hand, there is the love of the world. Love of the world leads to a stage where a person can not see anything but the world before it, after it, and along with it. Every thought and action is for some worldly gain. Such a person cannot devote himself to pious deeds for more than a few days. It is reported that this world is like sea water. The more one drinks of it, the more one gets thirsty."

Text by Khalid Dhorat (Mawlana

Marriage in Islam

"Allah further states that He has also placed in addition to mercy, love between spouses. It should however be noted that Islamic concept of love is different from the more commonly understood romantic love so valued in the Western cultures.

The basic difference is that love between man and woman in the Islamic context can only be realized and expressed in a legal marriage. In order to develop a healthy avenue for the expression of love between man and woman and to provide security so that such a loving relationship can flourish, it is necessary to give it the protection of Shariah (Islamic law).

Marital love in Islam inculcates the following:...

Accepts: To love someone is to accept them for who they are. It is selfishness to try and mould someone as we wish them to be. True love does not attempt to crush individuality or control personal differences, but is magnanimous and secure to accommodate differences."

... click heading to se more.

From an article by by Shahina Siddiqui

Love as an Object of Right Desire, Mortimer Adler

"However, when we say that we love the truth, or when we interpret the word "philosophy" etymologically as signifying the love of wisdom, we are departing from the understanding of love as benevolent desire.

We may admire truth or wisdom; we may even pursue the truth or seek wisdom as objects of right desire; but we are not impelled to act benevolently toward them. Our impulse to make the truth available to mankind or to increase its store of wisdom may be a benevolent concomitant of our great admiration for truth and wisdom, but that benevolence flows from our love of humanity, not from our love or truth or wisdom."

From the essay LOVE AS AN OBJECT OF RIGHT DESIRE,
by Mortimer Adler, Ph.D.

Att ha eller att vara, Erich Fromm

"Kärlek har också två betydelser, allt efter som man rör sig inom ägandets eller varandets livsform. Kan man ha kärlek? Om vi kunde det skulle kärleken vara ett ting, en substans som man kan ha, äga, besitta. Sanningen är att det inte finns någon sådan substans. Kärleken är en abstraktion, kanske en gudinna eller ett främmande väsen, men ingen har någonsin sett denna gudinna. I verkligheten finns det bara kärlekens gärningar. Att älska är en produktiv verksamhet. Det innnebär att ha omsorg om, att väl känna, vara mottaglig för, bejaka, ha glädje av: en människa, ett träd, en målning, en idé. Det betyder att bringa till liv, att öka hans/hennes/dess livaktighet. Det är ett självförnyande och självutvidgande skeende.

När man upplever kärlek inom ägandets livsform innebär det att stänga in, fängsla eller behärska det föremål man "älskar". Det är förstummande, kvävande, dödande, inte livgivande. Det som människan kallar kärlek är oftast ett missbruk av ordet, som är avsett att dölja det rätta förhållandet, nämligen att de inte älskar. Det är en öppen fråga hur många föräldrar som verkligen älskar sina barn. Lloyd de Mause har visat att det i västerlandets historia under de två sista årtusendena finns så många rapporter om grymhet mot barn, från psykisk och fysisk tortyr till vanvård, härsklystnad och sadism, så uppseendeväckande att man drivs att tro att kärleksfulla föräldrar är undantaget i stället för regel."

Från boken "Att ha eller att vara", av Erich Fromm

Kärlek är stark, Ebba Grön

Kärlek är stark, kärlek är stark,
kärlek är stark, kärlek är stark.

Vill du bli min tjej? Ja jag älskar dej.
Om du säger kärleksord
så ska jag ge dej allt,
allting jag kan ge.
I det svarta, i det grå
är det du som ger mej hopp.
Viska om den tyst till mej.

Kärlek är stark...

Vi midnatt svischa runt
i stjärnors mörka ljus.
Du tar mej in i dej.
I ljudet av oljudet
ger vi varann allt.
En snäcka som sluter sej
om mej, i dej.
Viska om den tyst till mej.

Kärlek är stark...

Vill du bli min tjej? Ja jag älskar dej.
Ser du djuret i mej?
Om styrkan finns i dej just då
vill jag för fan veta.
I det svåra, i det hårda,
där bara du kan ta mej upp.
Viska om den tyst till mej.

Kärlek är stark, kärlek är knark.

Bara lite kärlek, Lisa Nilsson

Bara lite kärlek tidigt när man vaknar
är mera värt än kaffe när man ska börja dan
Bara lite kärlek när hela världen lider
och du vaknar upp och känner att allt kan bli bra

För vår värld vore ej så hård
den vore ej så svår
om alla i den bara kunde få
lite mer kärlek...

Bara lite kärlek redan när man vaknar
några varma kyssar som räcker hela dan
Inget gör en morgon, riktigt väcker dagen
så som lite mer kärlek
från någon man älskar, som du

För vår värld vore ej så hård
den vore ej så svår
om alla i den bara kunde få
lite mera kärlek innan dagen börjar
lite mera kärlek tidigt när man vaknar

Bara lite kärlek från den man älskar...
Bara lite kärlek när man vaknar...
Inget gör en morgon som lite kärlek...
Inget väcker dagen som lite kärlek...
Bara lite kärlek...
Bara lite kärlek...
Bara lite kärlek...
Bara lite kärlek...

Henrik Ibsen

Den store, nådeløse synd - det er å myrde kjærlighetslivet i et menneske.

Top Web results for "love"

This page from Answers.com contains: Dictionary, Thesaurus, Antonyms, Devil's Dictionary, Word Net, Wikipedia, Misspellings, Translations, Best of the Web,

A Thing Called Love

A Thing Called Love presents eight young and upcoming Canadian artists in an exhibition curated by Patrik Andersson/Trapp Projects. The exhibition brings together embroidered paintings, drawings, sound and video work by artists who all tackle the slippery subject of love in their artistic practice.

According to Johnny Cash “Ever since time nothing’s ever been found stronger than love.” The subject of love has the kind of age old and universal appeal that only the best of tropes can hope for. As the subject for this exhibition it also affords us a close reading of art work that risks entering into the always playful but treacherous territory of clichés.

---

A Thing Called Love presenterar åtta unga och lovande konstnärer från Kanada i en utställning som är sammanställd av Patrik Andersson/Trapp Projects. Utställningen innehåller broderade målningar, teckningar, ljud och videoverk av konstnärer som alla tacklar det slippriga ämnet kärlek i sina verk.

Enligt Johnny Cash har inget sen begynnelsen funnits starkare än kärlek (“Ever since time nothing’s ever been found stronger than love”). Kärlek är ett ämne som har en åldrig och universell dragningskraft som bara de bästa av troper kan erbjuda. Som tema för denna utställning skapar det också en möjlighet för en intim tolkning av konstverk som riskerar att gå in i det alltid så lekfulla men förrädiska landet av klichéer.

Calligraphy Love

"I believe in the religion of love, wherever its stages may go, as love is my religion and faith."

Ibn Arabi

The Frieze of Life, Love, Edvard Munch

A fundamental element in the art of Edvard Munch is The Frieze of Life, a series of deeply personal, expressive motifs carried out in paintings and graphic works, saturated with existential uneasiness and angst. As a whole these pictures comprise his magnum opus. This Internet exhibition shows a selection of paintings and graphic works from the series of motifs that Munch included in his Frieze of Life. The themes of Love, Angst and Death are presented in 24 different groups, with Munch's personal notes to the individual motifs.

The images of love in Munch's Frieze of Life have their parallel in the literary texts which describe his first love affair. Therein lies its deepest secret. The core of the message is that the events of their brief affair are summoned up in memory and the suffering relived. His own first real experiences of love are portrayed with ruthless honesty, and he thus creates universal expressions of human feelings.

Livsfrisen, Kjærlighet, Edvard Munch

"Livsfrisen" ble karakterisert av Munch selv som "et dikt om livet, kjærligheten og døden".

Kjærlighetsbildene i Munchs Livsfrise har sin parallell til de litterære tekster som beskriver hans første kjærlighetsforhold. Deri ligger dets dypeste hemmelighet. Kjernen i budskapet er fremkallingen i erindringen og gjennomlidelsen av hendelsene fra dette korte forholdet. Hans egen første virkelige kjærlighetsopplevelse skildres billedmessig nådeløst ærlig, og han skaper derved almengyldige uttrykk for menneskelige følelser.

Hur kan man avbilda ett så svårt ämne som kärlek i konsten?

Serien målningar på temat ”Saskia som Flora” avslöjar den kamp som Rembrandt utkämpade. En intagande teckning som daterar sig från deras bröllopsdag 1633 visar att det är ett känsloladdat ämne för Rembrandt.
...
1641 gör Rembrandt ett helt annorlunda porträtt av Saskia. Hon tittar på betraktaren och med sin högra hand sträcker hon fram en blomma medan den vänstra vilar vid hennes hjärta. Från den tidigare symbolismen har vi övergått till den paradoxala metaforens analogi: Jag ger dig all min kärlek, lika förbehållslöst och totalt som jag ger dig denna blomma. Detta är inte ett porträtt av en kvinna tillsammans med ett porträtt av en blomma, utan en mäktig framställning av kärlek.

från "Konst och politik: Striden för skönheten" av Karel Vereycken

Konst och politik: Striden för skönheten

Människan har i alla tider försökt göra sig en föreställning om sin egen andliga utveckling. Man har vanligtvis delat in den i tre stadier av växande personlig mognad: barndom, ungdom och vuxen ålder. De gamla grekerna urskiljde de dionysiska, apolloniska och prometevska arketyperna, som blev Platons brons-, silver- och guldsjälar. Dante omarbetar det till infernot, skärselden och paradiset. Cervantes framställer i sin ”Don Quijote” en hjärna utan kropp (Don Quijote) och en mage utan hjärna (Sancho Panza) vilka i en dialog med varandra utbildar varandra. Schiller är inne på samma sak när han talar om vilden, barbaren och den estetiska människan.

Schiller, som i varje enskild människas liv ser möjligheten att förverkliga den ideala människan, säger:

”Människan kan emellertid på ett dubbelt sätt vara sig själv motsatt: antingen som vilde, om hennes känslor härskar över hennes grundsatser; eller som barbar, om hennes grundsatser förstör hennes känslor. Vilden föraktar konsten och erkänner naturen som sin oinskränkta härskare; barbaren bespottar och vanärar naturen, men, föraktligare än vilden, fortfar han ofta nog att vara slav under sin slav. Den bildade människan gör naturen till sin vän och ärar dess frihet, i det hon blott tyglar dess godtycke.”

I de stora religionerna tillkommer att det som ökar mest under mognadsprocessen är förmågan att älska: från eros (den köttsliga kärleken, där det egna jaget står i centrum) går man till filias (vänskap och faderlig respekt) i riktning mot agape (kärlek till mänskligheten, fri från egenintresse).

Karel Vereycken

Kärleken i konsten

Kärleksguden Amor har lockat många konstnärer att skildra lustfyllda motiv.

När Amor finns med i bilden handlar det om kärlek och förälskelse. Han håller ofta i en kärlekspil eller en fackla, symbolen för kärlekens eviga låga, som han sprider till gudar, gudinnor och oss människor.

Många olika symboler för kärlek och trofasthet återkommer i äktenskapsporträtt. Kärleken symboliseras av rosor och passionen av aklejor. Ofta visar en hund vid parets sida på trofastheten i äktenskapet. Kvinnans fruktbarhet återges med druvor och andra frukter medan graviditet kan symboliseras av att kvinnan håller i en bönskida.

Målningar och skulpturer som handlar om kärlek studeras ingående i denna visning.

Att ha eller att vara?, Erich Fromm

Att ha och att vara innebär två vitt skilda livsformer. A ha innebär ägande och leder till försvar, våld, aggression. Att vara kräver oberoende, frihet, mänsklig mognad, kritisk förnuft. Kärlek ligger inte inom ägandets utan inom varandets livsform.

Erich Fromm

The most ideal human passion, George Santayana

“In endowing us with memory, nature has revealed to us a truth utterly unimaginable to the unreflective creation, the truth of immortality. The most ideal human passion is love, which is also the most absolute and animal and one of the most ephemeral.”

George Santayana, 1863-1952
Spanish born American Philosopher, Poet and Humanist

“Love makes us poets, and the approach of death should makes us philosophers”

Perfect

“We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly”

Sam Keen
American philosopher

Love song, Roy Croft

“I love you,
Not only for what you are,
But for what I am
When I am with you.

I love you,
Not only for what
You have made of yourself,
But for what
You are making of me.

I love you
For the part of me
That you bring out;
I love you
For putting your hand
Into my heaped-up heart
And passing over
All the foolish, weak things
That you can’t help
Dimly seeing there,
And for drawing out
Into the light
All the beautiful belongings
That no one else had looked
Quite far enough to find.

I love you because you
Are helping me to make
Of the lumber of my life
Not a tavern
But a temple;
Out of the works
Of my every day
Not a reproach
But a song.

I love you
Because you have done
More than any creed
Could have done
To make me good
And more than any fate
Could have done
To make me happy.
You have done it
Without a touch,
Without a word,
Without a sign.
You have done it
By being yourself.
Perhaps that is what
Being a friend means,
After all.”

text: Roy Croft

One aspect of the battle

“The paintings are moods, impressions of the life of the soul, and together they represent one aspect of the battle, between man and woman, that is called love.”

Edvard Munch 1863-1944
Norwegian Painter and printmaker

Kjærlighet gjør enfoldig

Deltakere fra i alt 11 forskjellige land har deltatt i den omfattende undersøkelsen av hvordan hjernen ter seg når man er forelsket. Ved hjelp av MR- (magnet-resonnans) teknologi målte forskerne de forelskede deltakernes hjernaktivitet mens de ble vist bilder av sine respektive utkårne.

Forskerne er ikke nådige i sin konklusjon: Den intense følelsen av kjærlighet som kjennetegner forelskelsesfasen kan sammenliknes med den sløvende effekt narkotiske stoffer har på oss. Grunnen til dette er at det er nøyaktig de samme fire områdene av hjernen som får økt blodtilførsel når vi er forelsket som når vi tar sentralstimulerende stoffer. Områdene som stimuleres er de som er mest sentrale for hukommelsen og konsentrasjonsevnen vår.

Et annet aspekt ved forelskelse som vel må anses som en ekstrabonus, er at de forelskede hadde en redusert aktivitet i de områdene av hjernen som er knyttet til depresjon og frykt.

Elisabeth Endsjø


Undersøkelsen vil bli gjengitt i mai-nummeret (2001) av German psychology journal.
Kilde: Deutsche Presse-Agentur (dpa) Publisert 8. mai 2001

The Art of Loving, Erich Fromm

"Kjærlighet er det eneste sanne og tilfredsstillende svar på menneskelivets problem," sier Erich Fromm.

"Most people see the problem of love primarily as that of being loved rather than that of loving, of one's capacity to love."

"Å bli elsket, ikke å elske er først og fremst menneskets oppfatning av hva kjærlighet er," mener Fromm. Og slik får kjærligheten alvorlige problemer.


Fromm har skrevet boken "Om kjærlighet". Orginaltittel: "The Art of Loving"

I denne boken beskriver han kjærligheten i videste forstand. Ikke bare den romantiske erotiske kjærligheten, men også kjærligheten til barn, mellom søsken og venner og kjærligheten til seg selv og til Gud.

Fromm fremsetter skarpt formulerte sannheter og slående iakttakelser relatert til kjærlighetens områder i vårt moderne samfunn. Han drøfter kjærligheten som en kunstform og berører kjærlighetens mange "teorier".

...

Love is not primarily a relationship to a specific person; it is an attitude, an orientation of character which determines the relatedness of a person to the world as a whole, not towards one 'object' of love. If a person loves only one other person and is indifferent to the rest of his fellow men, his love is not love but a symbiotic attachment, or an enlarged egotism. (Fromm 1957: 36)

The most fundamental kind of love, which underlies all types of love is brotherly love. By this I mean the sense of responsibility, care, respect, knowledge of any other human being, the wish to further his life. This is the kind of love the Bible speaks of when it says: love thy neighbour as thyself. Brotherly love is love for all human beings; it is characterized by its very lack of exclusiveness. (Fromm 1957: 37)

Whilst we teach knowledge, we are losing that teaching which is the most important one for human development: the teaching which can only be given by the simple presence of a mature, loving person

A Little Philosophy on Love

"When you really feel love, the things that you have been taught you should do are things you wish to do without pushing yourself, without forcing it. When I really feel care for another person's life, I don't have to force myself to do what needs to be done. I don't feel it's a big sacrifice to go against my wishes and help the other person."

Jacob Needleman, professor of philosophy at San Francisco State University
(from an interview with Kristen Fairchild)

Personal love

Part of the philosophical task in understanding personal love is to distinguish the various kinds of personal love. For example, the way in which I love my wife is seemingly very different from the way I love my mother, my child, and my friend. This task has typically proceeded hand-in-hand with philosophical analyses of these kinds of personal love, analyses that in part respond to various puzzles about love. Can love be justified? If so, how? What is the value of personal love? What impact does love have on the autonomy of both the lover and the beloved?

From an essay by Bennett Helm, from the Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy

Philosophy of love

The philosophical treatment of love transcends a variety of sub-disciplines including epistemology, metaphysics, religion, human nature, politics and ethics. Often statements or arguments concerning love, its nature and role in human life for example, connect to one or all the central theories of philosophy, and is often compared with, or examined in the context of, the philosophies of sex and gender. The task of a philosophy of love is to present the appropriate issues in a cogent manner, drawing on relevant theories of human nature, desire, ethics, and so on. This brief introduction examines the nature of love and some of the ethical and political ramifications.

by Alexander Moseley

Love's torments, Goethe

LOVE's torments sought a place of rest,

Where all might drear and lonely be;
They found ere long my desert breast,

And nestled in its vacancy.


Goethe, 1827

The Divine Image, William Blake

To Mercy, Pity, Peace, and Love,
All pray in their distress,
And to these virtues of delight
Return their thankfulness.

For Mercy, Pity, Peace, and Love,
Is God our Father dear;
And Mercy, Pity, Peace, and Love,
Is man, His child and care.

For Mercy has a human heart;
Pity, a human face;
And Love, the human form divine:
And Peace the human dress.

Then every man, of every clime,
That prays in his distress,
Prays to the human form divine:
Love, Mercy, Pity, Peace.

And all must love the human form,
In heathen, Turk, or Jew.
Where Mercy, Love, and Pity dwell,
There God is dwelling too.


Poetry of William Blake

Sluten cirkel, Paulo Coelho

"I den mongoliska skapelsesmyten möts hinden och vildhunden", sa Mikhail med en röst som var främmande igen.

"Två varelser med olika natur. I naturen dödar vildhunden hinden för att äta upp den. I den mongoliska myten förstår de båda att de behöver den andras egenskaper för att överleva i en fientlig omgivning, och att de måste förenas.

Inan de kan göra det måste de lära sig att älska. Och för att älska måste de sluta att vara sig själva. Annars kan de aldrig leva tillsammans. Så småningom fogar sig vildhunden i att han, som alltid har användt sin instinkt för att överleva, nu måste använda den till ett högre syfte, till att hitta någon som kan hjälpa honom att förändra världen."

Han gjorde en paus.

"När vi dansar rör vi oss i cirklar rundt kraften. Den stiger upp mot vår Fru och kommer tillbaka till oss med hela hennes styrka, så som vattnet dunster från floderna, blir till moln och kommer tillbaka som regn. I dag handlar min berättelse om kärlekens cirkel. En morgon knackade en bonde på porten till ett kloster. När portvakten öppnade räkte han fram en praktfull druvklase.

'Kära portvakt, det här är de finaste druvorna från min vingård. Och jag har kommit för att ge dem til dig.'

'Tack! Jag ska gå raka vägen till abboten med dem. Han kommer att bli glad över gåvan.'

'Nej! Jag gav dem ju till dig.'

'Till mig? Jag förtjäner inte en så vacker gåva från naturen.'

'När jag har knackat på här har det alltid varit du som öppnat. När jag behövde hjälp för att skjörden torkade bort gav du mig ett stycke bröd och ett glas vin varje dag. Med den här druvklasan vill jag ge dig lite av solens kärlek, regnets skönhet och Guds mirakel.'

Portvakten lade klasen framför sig och beundrade den hela förmiddagen. Den var verkligen vacker. Därför bestämde han sig för att skänka den vidare till abboten, som alltid hade stärkt honom med sina visa ord.

Abboten blev mycket glad över druvorna, men så kom han att tänka på att en av klosterbrödarna låg sjuk. Han tänkte: 'Han skal få den här klasen. Den kan kanske skänka honom lite glädje.'

Men druvorna blev inte kvar länge i sjuklingens rum, för han tänkte: 'Kocken tar hand om mig och ger mig de bästa bitarna. Han skulle säkert bli väldigt glad över den här.' När kocken kom in med lunchen fick han druvklasen.

'Den här är till dig. Du som arbetar med naturens gåvor varje dag vet nog vad du ska göra med ett Guds verk som den här.'

Kocken bländades av klasens skönhet och visade de fulländade druvorna för kökspojken. En sådan fulländning kunde nog ingen uppskatta bättre än kyrkvaktmästaren, som vaktade det Heliga Sakramentet och betraktades som betraktades som ett helgon av många i klostret.

Kyrkvaktmästaren skänkte druvorna till klostrets yngste novis, för att lära honom att Guds verk finns i skapelsens minsta delar. När novisen fick klasen fylldes hans hjärta av Herrens härlighet, för han hade aldrig skådat en så vacker druvklase. I samma stund kom han att tänka på den gång då han först hade kommit till klostret, och på den som då hade öppnat porten. Det var den öppnade dörren som hade släppt in honom till människor som värdesatte jordens underverk. Strax före kvällningen gick har därför med druvklasen till portvakten.

'Ät och njut. Du brukar få sitta här i den ensamhet, och de här druvorna kommer att gåora dig gott.'

Då förstod portvakten att gåvan verkligen var ämnad för honom. Han njöt av varje druva på klasen och somnade sedan nöjt. På så sätt slöts cirkeln, en cirkel av lycka och glädje som alltid sprids omkring dem som är i kontakt med den gudomliga kraften.'

Från Paulo Coelho's bok "Zahiren"

Be determined to live for something

“It's not enough to have lived. We should be determined to live for something. May I suggest that it be creating joy for others, sharing what we have for the betterment of personkind, bringing hope to the lost and love to the lonely.”

Leo F. Buscaglia
1924-1998

Kjærlighet føder kjærlighet

SonjaBunes 2004, fargeblyanttegning

Kärlek enligt SAOL

Enligt Svenska Akademiens ordbok betyder kärlek: "en stark känsla. Böjelse för någon med en önskan om föremålets lycka och välgång. Glädje och tillfredsställelse över att befinna sig i denna persons närhet och att göra honom eller henne till lags. Innerlig tillgivenhet".

Större än kunskap

Visa är alla som både bekänner behovet av och gränserna för kunskap och som förstår att kärlek är större än kunskap.
Paul Tillick

Kinesiskt ordspråk

Kärlekens dörr är svår att öppna och svår att stänga.

Törsten

Kärleken liknar törsten; en droppe vatten ökar den.
Nicolas de la Bretonne

Ord

Eskimåerna har femtiotvå ord för snö eftersom den är viktig för dem - det borde finnas lika många för kärlek.
Margaret Atwood

Att ge och att få

Det enda vi aldrig får nog av är kärleken. Och det enda vi aldrig ger nog av är kärleken.
Henry Miller

Tro, håp og kjærlighet. ...størst blant dem er kjærligheten.

Kjærligheten er tålmodig, kjærligheten er velvillig, den misunner ikke, den skryter ikke, er ikke hovmodig. 5 Den gjør ikke noe usømmelig, den søker ikke sitt eget, blir ikke oppbrakt og gjemmer ikke på det onde. 6 Den gleder seg ikke over urett, men har sin glede i sannheten. 7 Kjærligheten utholder alt, tror alt, håper alt, tåler alt.

8 Kjærligheten faller aldri bort. De profetiske gaver skal opphøre, tungene skal tie, og kunnskapen skal ta slutt. 9 For vi forstår stykkevis, og vi taler profetisk stykkevis. 10 Men når det fullkomne kommer, skal det som er stykkevis, forsvinne. 11 Da jeg var barn, talte jeg som et barn, tenkte jeg som et barn, dømte jeg som et barn. Men da jeg ble mann, la jeg av det barnslige. 12 Nå ser vi som i et speil, i en gåte, da skal vi se ansikt til ansikt. Nå forstår jeg stykkevis, da skal jeg forstå fullt ut, slik Gud kjenner meg fullt ut. 13 Så blir de stående, disse tre: Tro, håp og kjærlighet. Men størst blant dem er kjærligheten.

Paulus, 1.Kor 13

Du skal handle som om du elsket

"Det er ikke kjærligheten moralen foreskriver, men det å utføre av plikt den samme handling som kjærligheten allerede ville ha utført fritt hvis den hadde vært der."

"Du skal handle som om du elsket."

Andre Comte Sponville

Valentindagen

Valentin var en kristen martyr som nektet å gi opp sin tro. Legenden forteller at han døde den 14. februar i år 269 og at man fant et avskjedsbrev som han hadde skrevet til datteren til fangevokteren. Han var blitt glad i henne og brevet var undertegnet ”Fra din Valentin”.

Valentin var prest mens Claudius II var keiser i Roma. Claudius hadde vanskeligheter med å skaffe nok soldater til krigføringen sin, for de unge mennene ville ikke forlate koner og kjærester. Claudius tenkte at hvis de unge mennene ikke fikk lov til å gifte seg eller forlove seg, ville det bli lettere å få dem til å verve seg som soldater. Valentin trosset keiserens påbud og viet unge par i hemmelighet, men han ble oppdaget.

Han er skytshelgen for alle elskende og det er til hans og kjærlighetens pris at vi sender hverandre kort og gir bort små presanger på hans dødsdag, 14. februar.

Can science help us to understand love?

Scientists have a cold eyed view of the purpose of love. The tender intimacy and selflessness of a mother's love might be celebrated by inspiring music, literature and art. Many great artists have been profoundly affected by the relationship between mother and child, as depicted by Da Vinci's Virgin and Child, Van Gogh's First Steps and so on.

But the evolutionary biologist has a more prosaic formulation – the lifelong commitment serves to help a parents' genetic material survive through to future generations. The passion shared by two lovers serves a surprisingly similar function – it facilitates mating and parenting – and hence again is merely the selfish gene in action. If we didn't love, then the species would simply never get perpetuated, so maybe that is love's actual function.

(click heading to see full article)

Størst er kjærligheten

"Kjærligheten er også noe annet enn forelskelse. Forelskelsen stopper individets egen og den andres vekst, fordi man i forelskelsesrus tror at man har nådd målet. Slik er det ikke i kjærligheten; den stopper ikke den andres utvikling. Den lar den andre vokse; den støtter og verdsetter sin egen og den andres vekst. Den tar ikke den andre for gitt, men har en innstilling som bygger på at man skal pleie relasjonen til den man elsker".

Fra "Størst er kjærligheten", en artikkel av Loveleen Rihel Brenna i Vårt Land, 29/1, 2003

Beste pille: Kjærlighet

Beste forebyggende medisin mot psykiske problemer er at barna blir sett – med kjærlighet.

Av Wenche Marie Jacobsen
(klikk på overskriften for å lese hele artikkelen)

Kjærlighetens dynamikk

Kjærligheten er speilbildet av Guds enhet i en verden av motsetninger. Den utgjør skaperverkets hele betydning. Hvis kjærligheten skulle utelukkes fra livet, ville alle sjelene i verden få et fullstendig utvendig forhold til hverandre, og de eneste forbindelsene og kontaktene som ville være mulige i en slik kjærlighetsløs verden, ville være overflatiske og mekaniske. Det er på grunn av kjærligheten at kontakter og forbindelser individuelle sjeler imellom blir betydningsfulle. Det er kjærligheten som gir mening og verdi til alt som skjer i tosidighetens verden. Men mens kjærligheten gir mening til tosidighetens verden, er den samtidig en konstant utfordring til tosidigheten. Etter som kjærligheten samler styrke, genererer den en kreativ rastløshet og blir den viktigste drivkraften i den åndelige dynamikken som til slutt lykkes i å gi Eksistensens opprinnelige enhet tilbake til bevisstheten.

av Meher Baba

Kjærlighet er å gi

"Kanskje burde man allerede på et tidlig stadium i barndom og ungdom begynne å fortelle unge mennesker hva ekte kjærlighet er, og at det slett ikke dreier seg om å eie, tvert imot. Den kjærlighet som ikke blir gitt og fått i frihet fortjener slett ikke navnet kjærlighet."

Ingar Knudtsen

INSTALLING LOVE

Tech Support: Yes, ... how can I help you?

Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install Love. Can you guide me though the process?

Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?

Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready. What doI do first?

Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart?

Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it okay to install Love while they are running?

Tech Support: What programs are running ?

Customer: Let's see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge and Resentment running right now.

Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with amodule of its own called High Self-Esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs preventLove from being properly installed. Can you turn those off ?

Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment have been completely erased.

Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?

Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program.You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.

Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, "Error -Program not run on external components." What should I do?

Tech Support: Don't worry. It means that the Love program is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.

Customer: So, what should I do?

Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following files: Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your Limitations.

Customer: Okay, done.

Tech Support: Now, copy them to the "My Heart" directory. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files. Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?

Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes awhile, but eventually everything gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed and running. One more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.

Customer: Thank you, God.

Back to You

by Anonymous

Amor

Amor est vitae essentia - Love is the essence of life

Amor animi arbitrio sumitur, non ponitur
We choose to love, we do not choose to cease loving. (Syrus)

Amor caecus est
Love is blind

Amor est vitae essentia
Love is the essence of life. (Robert B. Mackay)

Amor ordinem nescit
Love does not know order. (St. Jerome)

Amor patriae
Love of country

Amor platonicus
Platonic love

Amor tussisque non celantur
Love, and a cough, are not concealed. (Ovid)

Amor vincit omnia
Love conquers all. (Virgil)

Morskjærlighet

MYTHOLOGICAL

Different cultures have deified love, typically in both male and female form. Here is a list of the gods and goddesses of love in different mythologies.

* Amor or Cupid — god of passionate love in Roman mythology
* Aphrodite — goddess of passionate love in Greek mythology
* Eros — god of passionate love in Greek mythology
* Freya — goddess in Norse mythology
* Kama — god of sensual love in Hindu mythology
* Rati — goddess of passionate love in Hindu mythology
* Venus — goddess of passionate love in Roman mythology
* Xochipilli — god in Aztec mythology

JEWISH

Judaism employs a wide definition of love, both between people and between man and the Deity. As for the former, the Torah states: "Love your neighbor like yourself" (Leviticus 19:18). As for the latter, one is commanded to love God "with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your possessions" (Deuteronomy 6:5), taken by the Mishnah (a central text of the Jewish oral law) to refer to good deeds, willingness to sacrifice one's life rather than commit certain serious transgressions, willingness to sacrifice all one's possessions and being grateful to the Lord despite adversity (tractate Berachoth 9:5). Rabbinic literature differs how this love can be developed, e.g. by contemplating Divine deeds or witnessing the marvels of nature. As for love between marital partners, this is deemed an essential ingredient to life: "See life with the wife you love" (Ecclesiastes 9:9). The Biblical book Song of Songs is a considered a romantically-phrased metaphor of love between God and his people, but in its plain reading reads like a love song. The 20th century Rabbi Eliyahu Eliezer Dessler is frequenly quoted as defining love from the Jewish point-of-view as "giving without expecting to take" (from his Michtav me-Eliyahu, vol. 1). Romantic love per se has few echoes in Jewish literature, although the Medieval Rabbi Judah Halevi wrote romantic poetry in Arabic in his younger years (also he appears to have regretted this later).

Hesed
Hesed , which basically combines the meaning of 'affection' and 'compassion' and is sometimes rendered in English as 'loving-kindness'. Hesed describes God's mercy.

Ahava
Ahava for 'affection' or 'favour'. It is not as widely used as 'hesed'.

ISLAM

Ishq
or divine love, is the emphasis of Sufism, Sufis believe that love is a projection of the essence of God to the universe. God desires to recognize beauty, and as if one looks at a mirror to see oneself, God "looks" at itself within the dynamics of nature. Since everything is a reflection of God, the school of Sufism practices to see the beauty inside the apparently ugly.

HINDU

Kāma
In kāma is pleasurable, sexual love, personified by the god Kama. For many Hindu schools it is the third end in life (artha ).

Prema
In contrast to kāma, prema or prem refers to elevated love.

Karuṇā
Karuṇā is compassion and mercy which reduces the suffering of others.

Bhakti
Bhakti is a Sanskrit term from Hinduism meaning loving devotion to the supreme God. A person who practices bhakti is called bhakta.

Hindu writers, theologians and philosophers have distinguished nine forms of devotion that they call bhakti e.g. in the Bhagavatha-Purana and according to Tulsidas. The booklet Narada bhakti sutra written by an unknown author distinguishes eleven forms. Not all Hindu sects consider bhakti important.

BUDDHIST

Kāma
In Buddhism, Kāma is sensous, sexual love. It is an obstacle on the path to enlightenment, since it is selfish.

Karuṇā
Karuṇā is compassion and mercy which reduces the suffering of others. It is complimentary to wisdom, and is necessary for enlightenment.

Adveṣa, Maitrī
Adveṣa and maitrī are benevolent love. This love is unconditional and requires a lot of self-acceptance. This is quite different from the ordinary love, which is usually about attachment and sex, which rarely occur without self-interest. Instead, in Buddhism it refers to detachment and unselfish interest in others' welfare.

CHRISTIAN

Christians believe that love to God and to other people (God's creation, as they see it) are the two most important things in life (the greatest commandment of God, according to Jesus Christ. See The Gospel of Mark chapter 12, verses 28-34 in the Bible). Saint Augustine summarised this when he wrote "Love God, and do as thou wilt". Many Christian theologists see God as the source of love which is mirrored in humans and their relationships.

Agapē
In the New Testament, Agapē, is charitable, selfless, altruistic, and unconditional. Its fatherly love seen as creating goodness in the world, and is reciprocal between believers and God.

Nomos
Nomos is devotion to God, and the subjugation of the will before Him and His divine law.

ANCIENT GREEK

Greek distinguishes several different senses in which the word love is used. For example, ancient Greek has the words philia, eros, agape, and storge. However, with Greek as with many other languages, it has been historically difficult to separate the meanings of these words totally, and so we can find examples of agape being used with much the same meaning as eros. At the same time the ancient Greek text of the Bible has examples of the verb agapo being used with the same meaning as phileo.

Agapé
Agape is love that God has for mankind. Only God can express this kind of love.

Eros
Eros is passionate love, with sensual desire and longing.
Plato refined his own definition. Although eros is initially felt for a person, with contemplation it becomes an appreciation of the beauty within that person, or even become appreciation of beauty itself. Eros helps the soul recall knowledge of beauty, and contributes to an understanding of spiritual truth. Lovers, artists, and philosophers are all inspired to seek truth by eros.

Philia
Philia, a dispassionate virtuous love, was developed by Aristotle. It includes loyalty to friends, family, and community, and requires virtue, equality and familiarity. Philia is motivated by practical reasons; one or both of the parties benefit from the relationship.

Storge
Storge is natural affection, like that felt by parents for offspring.

Xenia
In ancient Greece, the concept of xenia was extremely important. It was an almost ritualized friendship formed between a host and their guest, who could previously be strangers. The host fed and provided quarters for the guest, who was only expected to repay with gratitude. The importance of this can be seen throughout myth, in particular Homer's Odyssey.

JAPANESE

Ai
In Japanese Buddhism, ai (?)is passionate caring love, and a fundamental desire. It can develop towards either selfishness or selflessness and enlightenment.

Amae
Amae (甘え), a Japanese word meaning "indulgent dependence" is part of the child rearing culture of Japan. Japanese mothers are expected to hug and indulge their children, and children are expected to reward their mothers by clinging and serving. Sociologists have suggested that Japanese social interactions in later life are modelled on the mother-child amae.