Gratitude is for Lovers

"I had one goal when I started graduate school five years ago—to understand why some romantic relationships thrive while others fail. I also had one primary hypothesis—that relationships fail when partners begin to take each other for granted. And I thought: If taking each other for granted is the poison, then gratitude might be the antidote.

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In research by Sara Algoe and colleagues, grateful couples were more satisfied in their relationships and felt closer to each other. And in our research, we found that participants’ reported feelings of gratitude towards a romantic partner predicted who would stay in their relationships and who would break up nine months later. The more grateful participants were, the more likely they were to still be in their relationship.

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It’s important to say that gratitude isn’t always the answer—and it can sometimes hurt you. Our research is focused on understanding what factors promote the maintenance of healthy relationships that may be experiencing a bump in the road. Gratitude is good if the relationship is good."

By Amie M. Gordon | February 5, 2013 for The Greater Good Science Center

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